inter-marriage by eguriase s. m. okaka

Inter-ethnic Marriage By Eguriase S. M. Okaka Have you attended a marriage involving couples from different ethnic groups? How was the ceremony conducted? What feeling did you have about the event? In this write up you are about to read, you will see the reason why inter-ethnic marriage appeals or does not appeal to some people. It is as well as a guide for intending couples. There are over 250 ethnic groups in Nigeria. Each of this tribal group is rich in tradition, values, and culture. Each is also mainly restricted to a specific region. This makes Nigeria to be among the most diverse countries in the world. Despite this, inter-ethnic marriages seem to occur more in Nigeria’s metropolitan cities like Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt. As younger generation of Nigerians become more exposed and educated, inter-ethnic marriage becomes more appealing. Amidst talks of unity and true nationhood, many Nigerians, especially from other older generation, question the wisdom of marrying someone from a different tribe. When it comes, to choosing a life partner, many Nigerians, regardless of educational and social exposure, are still guided by ethnic affiliations. There are still some families who frown or vehemently oppose inter-tribal marriage, believing that marriage is challenging enough without the added stress of language and cultural differences.

In reality, these differences sometimes prove to be an insurmountable barrier in inter-ethnic marriages. Wives who marry into different tribe from theirs have been known to suffer emotional abuse and injustice, especially upon their husband’s death. In spite of this, there are many couples in inter-ethnic marriages that enjoy a long and peaceful married life. Then, the question is this: Are opponents of inter-ethnic marriage being unrealistic to disregard passion in favor of cultural and ethnic ties? However, the following are a few tips that could guide those who want to embark on inter-ethnic marriage. • Do your best to the introductory meeting as pleasant and enjoyable as possible. First impressions are hard to erase. • Make sure you educate your fiancé/fiancée about aspect of your culture that is most important, especially the ones your family holds dear. For example, some cultures require kneeling or prostration when greeting elders while a simple curtsy or bow will do for others. • Develop an interest in the history and culture of your intended’s ethnic group. If you are not familiar with their cuisine, be ready to learn how to prepare and enjoy at least your intended’s favorite dishes. • Always do your best to include your intended in conversation with your family. If they refuse to speak English, or are more comfortable carrying lengthy conversation in your own language, be ready to interpret. • Know that if a wife does not understand her husband’s language, the children may never learn it. Be open to the possibility of this and make peace with it. • Know also that you may face opposition from the members of your family, so you must embrace patience and make sure that what you and your partner share is strong enough to weather the storm. • Frustration will arise – don’t take them out on your beloved. Always remind yourself why you chose the person. Problems in marriages are inevitable but are surmountable. Let me say here that the two persons coming together as man and wife are coming from a different background, culture, and tradition, as in the case of Nigeria, because of this they are likely to have different cultural beliefs for some time before she will adapt to the customs and traditions of the husband. Within this period there will be some resistance in the marriage and this will cause some differences. This is where one of the problems of marriage occurs from. It should be handle with care and love which brought both of them together. The man is the head of the home, if the woman sees him like this there will be peace in the marriage. Inter-ethnic marriage should not bring problem in any ways if both couples are ready to live together in love and unity. There is no fear in love and that same love conquers all things including the troubles that will emanates from your marriage. By Eguriase S. M. Okaka