the wedding ceremony I attended

THE WEDDING CEREMONY I ATTENDED

BY EGURIASE S. M. OKAKA Marriage is a lawful and acceptable union of a man and a woman to make up a family. It is a legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife. It all started from the days when God created the world. He was so kind to create the woman as a companion for Adam. Biblically, it is a covenant relationship between a man and woman to share their lives and family responsibilities together. It is a creation of God. The first marriage was instituted by God in the Garden Eden during creation. After the creation of Adam, the Lord felt that it is not good for him to be alone. He therefore decided to get a helpmate for him. God made Adam to go into a deep sleep and out of his ribs; he made a woman, and brought her to the man. Then the man said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, (Eve) because she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2: 24, the Bible says: “Therefore, shall a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” From the foregoing, it is now clear that marriage was instituted by the Almighty Creator. So once again, Marriage is the legal union between a man and a woman as man and wife. The union only becomes legal after the payment of a bride price on a ‘Bride’, according to the customs and traditions of my people. When a man finds a woman it is customary for him to tell his parents about her and his interest to make her his life-partner. After, a careful consideration by the man’s parents they proceed to make their son’s intentions known formally to the woman’s parents. Off to the woman’s parents’ home they go, this visit is known as introduction where they ask for the woman’s hand in marriage. Our son saw a ripe fruit in your compound and he intends to pluck this fruit. I wonder, if I have any ripe fruit in my compound. Pardon my manners the old man puts in. it is your daughter that we came for. My son wants to marry your beautiful daughter. I thought as much because the toad does not run for nothing in the day time. Which of my daughters are you talking about because I have three of them? It is Janet. He calls her. My daughter, do you know why this people are here? Yes, my father! Okay you can go inside. I shall consult with my family and we shall get back to you young man. After he had consulted with his family they sent for Peter who came again with his family members to pay the Bride Price as the customs demands. On the 12th day of November 2015, came Mr. Peterson and his family to finally pay the bride price of Miss Janet his would-be wife according to what tradition demands. Let me say here that, if you have not paid the bride price of the woman living with you, you have no legal right to call her your wife. If both of you are living together and having babies; to the eye of the public and the woman’s family you are just friends i.e. boyfriend and girlfriend because you have not done the right thing or what is expected of you by the parents of the woman. Some time ago, a young man and a young woman were co-habiting i.e. living together and having children together like couple. Unfortunately, the woman Pass on during child birth that was the birth of her third child. The woman’s father made the man to pass through hell. Firstly, he was accused of using the woman for money ritual. Secondly, he made him to pay the bride price of the dead woman and marry her properly. Finally, he was made to sleep with her corpse for three days and three nights before she was finally laid to rest. That was the penalty the man has to pay for not doing the right thing at the right time when the woman was alive. Whichever way you consider this from it is showing that the bride price ceremony is a very important thing among my people. Peterson’s case is not going to be sad like the above story because he is taking the right step at the right time that is paying the woman’s bride price that makes it a legal union. All the items listed in the list earlier given to him were present and was complete and accepted by the bride’s parents and his people. It is now time for the bride’s parents to pray for both of them wishing them all the good things of life including peaceful marriage and good children surrounding them. We then proceeded to the church for the solemnization of the holy matrimony. As soon as we arrived at the church venue a processional hymn was sang to usher in the bride and bridegroom inside the church where the pastor, Rev. Johnson was waiting for the bride and Groom to administer the Oath of Marriage on them. The marriage oath is the most important part of the ceremony. It is what will keep the marriage couple together for a lifetime and also it is meant to test their love and affections for each other and test their credibility towards each other as the year’s rolls by.

In times of temptations will the love they once professed for each other stands, time will tell. As soon as this was done Rev. Johnson declared them as ‘man and wife’ and a marriage certificate was given to them as a remark of legality the companionship. At the end of the church ceremony, we moved to the reception hall to wine and dine with the newly wedded. The Chairman of the reception gave his opening remark and advised the newly wedded to live in peace in their newly created home and also to shun third party interference in their marriage. Both of you are the best persons to settle your differences not a third party he added. Now I will say here that you should avoid the following persons if you want your marriage to last long: Avoid taking your family problems to your friends especially the unmarried ones. Avoid discussing your husband’s weakness with your female friends. Do not tell your friends the amount your husband is giving you for feeding. There was a situation that happened before about a lady who gossips her husband to her friend revealing the amount of money the man gives her to buy foodstuffs from the market and her friend shouted what! That is too small! She then advised her friend to leave the marriage and go out and look for a better man who will give her good money. Her friend foolishly yielded to her and parked out of her husband’s house. As soon as her friend left the marriage she parked in and took her place as the man’s wife. That is the man she advise her friend to leave because of money but indirectly she was interested in the money. Who will you blame? Well I blamed the woman who foolishly gossips her husband with her friend. If this marriage will last long then there must be love dwelling in your lives. That love that brought both of you together should stay permanently in your marriage. You must share an unconditional love in this marriage. Be selfless and faithful to each other. The faithful wife always loves her husband and the faithful man always loves his wife as well. Let love rule and reign in your home. If love rule and reigns in your home your home will be peaceful and exemplary to others. Be communicative with your spouse; when a marriage lacks communication that is a sign of something going wrong already. Learn to solve problems together. Avoid arguments; it breeds hatred for the other. No! Hate should not be mentioned among you. If you must take advice from anyone; look for those whose marriage has lasted over 50 years. They are the ones who can give you advice on how to live with your spouse. Ask them what is responsible for the longevity of their marriage and they will tell you because they want to see your marriage last like theirs. Do not take advice from a divorcee she will teach you her ways. Yes! You are one flesh by marriage. On no account should you make your wife cry. If she cries you are the one crying because are one flesh by marriage. Lastly, intimacy encompasses more than physical closeness; it embodies emotional vulnerability and genuine connection. Couples thrive when they invest time to share intimacy, experiences, communicate openly about their feelings and expresses affection for each other. Intimacy is very important in marriage. Do not deny yourselves of it so as to avoid temptation to cheat. Do not defraud one another of their rights. Let me stop here for now you can watch my videos on this blog for further details. He ended by saying that ‘whatsoever God has joined together let no man put asunder’. Happy married life! A round of applause for the Chairman, he really spoke like a father. The Master of Ceremony (MC) took charge of the program and called for the presentation of gifts. As men and women danced out with their gifts items and present it to the couple. It is time for ‘item seven’ as lined up in the program of events. There are assorted wines and foods to eat. We all ate and danced happily wishing the couple a blissful home. Ladies and gentlemen Mr. Peterson said thankfully. We are indeed grateful to all of you who came to rejoice with us on this joyous occasion of our wedlock. May the Almighty God be with you all? May rejoicing never cease in your homes and families. Once again, we wish you safe journey back home. Thanks and God bless you all! That was indeed one of greatest wedding ceremony I attended in recent time. We all rejoice and danced home happily with the latest couple in town. By Eguriase S. M. Okaka