family relationship by eguriase s. m. okaka

FAMILY RELATIONSHIP

BY EGURIASE S. M. OKAKA A family is made up of a group of people who are related by blood. Every human being came from one family or the other. That is to say that nobody fell from the sky. We all have a root where we emerged from and we can be traced to that family. Therefore, a family is made up of a father and a mother and their children; i.e. Nuclear Family; some families are monogamous while others are polygamous in nature. Let us consider these terminologies: Monogamy and Polygamy. Monogamy is the practice of being married to one person at a time. Simply put: Monogamy is a system where a man marries one wife. On the other hand, Polygamy is a system where a man marries more than one wife at a time. Both are diverse terms referring to family’s largeness. There are two classifications of family structure which include: Nuclear and Extended family structures. Nuclear family is the most smallest and common type of family structure that we can see around us today. It is made up of a father, a mother and their child or children as the case may be. The Nuclear family is the smallest type of family structure in the world. Extended Family is the largest form of family structure in the world. The extended family structure is made up of a father’s relations and a mother’s relations like father’s brothers and sisters’ i.e. Uncles and Aunties, grandfathers, Grandmothers, grandson and granddaughters, Cousins, Nephews and Nieces and many others that fall into this group. From the aforementioned family structure,

you will find out that the family structure is made up of people who are related by blood. This is the reason why you see most family members looking alike or resembling each other because of their blood relationship. In most cases they have like behaviors and resemblance facially and even talk alike. From what I know is that every member of a family ought to be one or united and dwell together in Unisom. Every society has a family that is the reason why the family is always referred to as a unit of the society. This simply means that your family is an integral part of a community. The behavior of your children whether positive or negative will adversely affect the society in good light or in bad light. If there are many good people in a community that shows that there are too many good families in that community. On the other hand, if there are too many societal vices in a community that will reflect to the kind of families in that settlements. Notwithstanding, the types of families we are bringing up reflects in the society positively or negatively. Every child knows his parents as the best teacher in the world. That is why they learn from everything they do very quickly. If a father is a drunk his son or daughter may likely become a drunk as well because his father is teaching him by his actions and he feels that what his father is doing is right, so he learns from him and pick up his negative character by drinking too many bottles of alcoholic liquor and become drunk by them. More so, a father who is a smoker will be unconsciously teaching his son or daughter how to smoke unknowingly to him. They see him smoking every day and they feels it’s good and pleasant to him not minding what the World Health Organization warns about smoking, ‘Smokers are liable to die young;’ he continues with his act of smoking. Since his children know him as their teacher they learn from him and grew up to become better smokers than their father. The family is really the first ‘Agent of Civilization”. It is what children learn at home first that they bring out to the larger society. You can’t hide it. ‘Charity they say begins at home’. I have seen a young man who became a ‘wife beater’ when he was asked why he was always beating his wife, he said, I learnt it from my father. That was how he was always beating my mother then I thought it was a normal thing to beat a woman. That is why I am beating my wife even when she didn’t provoke me I still beat her because I always want her to fear and respect me anytime she sees me. Please, that is unhealthy! You can imagine what a man can say in this jet age. Please, don’t beat your wife she is not a slave she is your helpmate. In either ways your son or daughter will pick up your behavior whether good or bad and become you or your carbon copy. Do you see why it is good to teach your wards good things? Let them learn good things so that they can become good members of the community. Learning is a process of knowing how far or how well something can be. In that process let us learn what is good and discard what is wrong in our lives as we live together as one family we can learn good characters from each other and become good examples in the vicinity. There are many advantages of living together as a family: • We protect ourselves when we live together as a family. Parents provide protection for the children against any attack or disease. • We are happy as a family when we live together. Father and mother should live together to train their children. • Unity. There is unity when we live together in the family. The family can unite to do certain things together and it will come out stronger because there is strength in unity. ‘United we stand but divided we fall’. • When a family is living together, parents will be able to provide good education, food, clothes, and shelter for the children. • A family that lives together will teach their children how to maintain the good name of the family. • Parents will be able to teach their children about good social behavior, such as honesty, living peacefully with people, respect for elders and other good virtues Sad to say, there are some children whose parents are no more or dead; these children are called Orphans. A child’s father or mother could die through sickness. They might also die through motor accidents or other means. Children in this category suffer a lot of untold hardship financially or otherwise.

Children without parents need the help of every sympathetic and empathizing individual around them. Such children are sometimes sent to live with uncles, aunties, or grandparents. One can imagine what they go through in the hands of such relatives as if they are the ones who killed their parents. We have seen cases where they are told such things. They have no parents to give them advice and lack fatherly or motherly love. These children needs love and care. In some cases they are taken to an Orphanage Home where they are taken care of with the support of some public spirited individual, the government, and the community. We must give orphans are love and care so as to alleviate their sufferings in the land.

If you wish to join me in this campaign you can send your widow’s mite to Account Name: Eguriase S. M. Okaka Account Number: 0069221764. Access Bank PLC. Nothing is too big; nothing is too small. Conflict Resolution in the Family

Once again, a group of people who are related by blood are given birth by one parent and more often than are dwelling together in one house. Now where two or three people stay together there must be troubles, though we are one family we have our individual differences this is the reason why trouble may arise in most cases. Individuality refers to individual character as a person.

What A, ‘likes’ may be what B ‘dislikes’ and that is how it is with A too, and other individuals in the family. Because of these differences which are not the same with all members of the family there may be conflict among them occasionally. So how do we solve such crisis when they arise that is what this article seeks to mention below: • Report all matters to your parents who are the head of the family. Your father or mother should be aware of any chaotic situation that might cause disunity among the members of the family so that it can be well-handled before things gets out of hand. • Directly express your thoughts or feelings. Aware keeping issues to yourself alone, such issues may be problematic. • Don’t bear grudges towards one another. • Don’t keep malice. It is not proper in a family. • Be your brother’s keeper. Always care for each other and watch their backs. • Communicate freely with each other. Do you know that communication is the key to a good relationship? • Don’t blame anyone for your misfortune. • If peradventure, there is a problem, try to separate the problem from the person. • Try to cool off when you are too angry to talk calmly. • Don’t keep secret to yourself. • Keep a smiling face always and be happy with the progress of your siblings. • Assume that everyone has good intentions towards you. As a parent, always keep in mind that you have a responsibility to resolve any problems that might arise in your family. Don’t take side with anyone so as not to cause more problems in the family. Always bear in mind that the idea is to resolve the conflict not to win the argument. Remember that the other party is not obliged to always agree with you.

Peaceful co-existence is what is required in the family and the larger society. Peace is a necessary tool for progress and development. Therefore if we must progress as a people we must live in peace. If we must develop as a people we must live in peace with each other. If we must progress as a family we must live in peace with each other. A peaceful home is a progressive home. Note: Children are your future. Train them well and have a good future. Children who are not trained, loved, or cared for grow up to be misfit in the community. By Eguriase S. M. Okaka