marry the man who loves you not the man the woman love by eguriase s. m. okaka

MARRY THE MAN WHO LOVES YOU NOT THE MAN YOU LOVE BY EGURIASE S. M. OKAKA

This is write up is controversial in nature because many believed that marriage is based on the love of the woman and not the man, but in this case I am seeing it from a different perspective i.e. the man’s angle. I know that every marriage should be based on love, yes, everyone will believe that. But whose love should be the greatest in a marriage relationship? I know some will say the man while others will opt for the woman. When Adam woke up from the deep sleep, he saw the woman whom God has made for him and he said, ‘this is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman for she was taken out of me’. If you considered this statement deeply you will find out that it was a romantic declaration made by Adam when he saw Eve. That is how every man should always be affectionate towards their wives. Now from the above who do you think should possess the greatest love in a marriage? I will say the man should. You see, if the man possesses the love in a family that marriage will rotate very well like a pivot. His love is the pivot that will perform that magic. That is the reason why many homes are peaceful and others are not. When a man loves a woman he believes everything she says even if he knows that she is lying he still believes her because he loves her and never wish to offend her in anyway or for any reason. If you see, a man who always doubts his wife that is a sign that he does not love her that is the reason why he always doubts her. But when a man loves a woman the difference is the case, that peace in the home. Let us consider the under mentioned situations A young man impregnated a young girl both of them attended the same college near my house such news must go out no matter what you do to keep such secrets. They were both in their final year, I later understood that the parents of the young man denied the pregnancy and sent their son abroad to continue his education there. This was a brilliant and promising young girl that was put in a family way by this wicked boy. She became a laughing stock among are peers and she could not continue her education in that condition. When you get pregnant as a girl that can end your education but the boy will continue his own and become what he wants to be. Many women you see today hawking if they tell you how intelligent they were in their school days you will be puzzled and force to ask why she is like this, perhaps it may be such situation that made them what they are today. Oh! Females be careful! Josephine stopped schooling and opted for suicide because she felt her dream of becoming a medical practitioner was gone. No! My friend, suicide is not an option of teenage pregnancy. In fact, it is devilish. If you get pregnant as a teenager after giving birth to the baby go back to school and continue your education I have seen many girls who did that and they are great women today. That pregnancy could not stop them from achieving their goals in life.

One day, Josephine, was vomiting and shivering at the same time. She was taken to the Town’s Health Center where the doctor diagnosed that she was four weeks pregnant and suffering from malaria too. After her treatment the doctor followed up her case where he was told Josephine’s story and denial by her boyfriend. From that day on he became a very good friend of the family, visiting them to know how the young Josephine was doing and helping her psychologically to recover from the trauma of suicidal thoughts. Many of his visits he always comes along with beverages and some other items to help her recover quickly. And Josephine received them with smiles and cheerful thanks. Why are you doing this she jokingly said. Because I love you, at least, to let him know that someone can still love what they had rejected. Oh, thank you, doctor. I want to marry your daughter; she deserves better life than this. She is a promising young woman. I wish to send her back to school so that she could fulfill her dreams in life. But doctor, she is carrying another man’s baby. I know that too well. This is the girl who was put in a family and was denied by the boy who did it because he feels that he can do whatever with a woman and get away with it. I know whom I am accepting to be my wife, the woman who they denied and abandon and left to suffer from shame and even die as a result of this. When Josephine’s parents saw the ingenuity in what he is saying and real love for their daughter in spite of the pregnancy she is carrying for the other who denied her and ran abroad to continue his studies, he gave in to the doctor’s demand and proposal to marry his daughter Josephine. With this I know that my enemies will be put to shame. When both families gave their consent the marriage was contracted and blessed by them and the Almighty God. After she put to bed, she continue her education again and examination and proceeded to the university where she read medicine and graduated as a medical doctor like her husband. This is cheering news to the womenfolk that there is light at the end of the tunnel if you can still continue your education after your pregnancy. Do not loose hopes only keep hope alive? In this case, it was the man who loved the woman and he accepted her in her condition, this is a rare case because not all men can do this but if a man does this it shows that the love he is professing for you is real but sad to say, not every woman can really know when a man loves them. I am saying that when a man loves a woman it is better than when a woman loves a man. When it is the woman who loves the man he says negative things about her one of such things is you don’t love me for nothing it is my money you really love. I have heard such statements severally. A lady once confessed to her would-be husband that I have no womb. Do you really understand what she met? By implication she is saying that I am no longer a woman. How can two men be living together and expect to make babies? That is enough reason to make a man run away from a woman and get married to another who will give him a child or children as the case may be. You know the importance of children to a marriage. If a couple got married and one or two years later no cry of baby tongues will start wagging, especially from their mother-in-laws. Africa men want children and want their wives to conceive as soon as it is possible. A child has become a priority in marriage and this is a mark to show fruitfulness in so many ways. But the case of this man was different from other men when he said: “You are worth more than ten sons to me”. What will you call this: love or hate? It is love the greatest love I have heard in recent times emanating from a homo sapiens. When the love is coming from the man it is good for the family. The man is the head of the family he should show the highest love in that family, don’t you think so? His love should be exemplary to his wife and children. The reverse is the case when the woman marries the man she loved. In many cases the men don’t feel the same way the woman felt. If that is the case then that woman is living in a dangerous situation. If a man doesn’t love you he hates you. There are no two ways about that. Do you know why men chase after other women outside? If you ask such men they will say I have not married the woman of my dream. I don’t know how I ended up with her. That is, what will happen to a woman who married the man she loves? But when a woman marries the man who loves her he will always love and respect her and that will bring peace to their home. Men who married the women they love: • If you hear a woman says my husband love and respects me. That is a sign that that man marries the woman he loved. • They hardly cheat on them. • They always think of them all the time. If they leave the house they always want to come back home immediately they finished what they are doing outside, he run home quickly to meet her. Her looks brings satisfaction to him and he loves that a lot. That is what a woman gets when a man loves you.

• They don’t keep late nights because of her. Men who don’t hang out with friends fall into this categories. Women who marry the men they loved may suffer the following mess from them: • The men may not love them. A woman who faces such problem from a man is not a happy woman no matter the smiles on her face. • This is one of the reasons why you get many ‘Wife Beaters’ around because the men don’t often love such women, there are some women who forced themselves on men for reasons I do not know, when the men knew this they starting beating such women so that they could leave them alone. If you see a man who always beats his wife that is a sign that he hates her. Her presence irritates him the only option is to beat her so that she will one day decide to leave the relationship herself and find her way to her father’s house. • The men always reminded them that it is my money you loved that is why you are here. • The men will always say I don’t know how I ended up with you. That is to say that you are not my choice. When such women know the fact they still forced themselves to such marriages or relationships. Such men resort to beat such women, so sad! That man will keep on chasing women outside their matrimonial home, to say the least. • I have heard many women say I don’t care whether he is a flirt or not provided he gives me the money I wanted. (These are some of the issues this write-up seeks to address). • Their homes her devoid of peace. What I seek to address is this: That every woman should marry the man who loves them, not the man they loved. Because the greatest love in a marriage relationship belongs to a man not the woman. A man’s wife was childless ten years after their marriage and tongues start to wag, even the mother-in-law did not take this situation lightly. She pester his son to take a second wife but the man refused and said I love my wife and did not listened to them and what they are said about his wife childlessness. After ten years she took in and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. The man loves his wife that love supersedes every other consideration. In a marriage relationship it is the man who holds the key to sustain it not the woman. In a divorce situation if the man refuses to sign the divorce papers the marriage stands in the eye of the law. When a man love a woman he goes out of his way to pleased her whether it is convenient or not he never mind the consequences of his love. When a man loves a woman he bears whatever situation there is because he loves the woman. When a man loves a woman she feels secured in all sense of that word. His love builds a solid edge around her. It is only a man that could please a woman. No woman can please herself that is one fact that you cannot denied. It is the man and his love that matters in such situations as we have seen above. It is so true that what we desired most in a relationship is peace. When there is peace in the home the better it is for all of us and the society at large will gain massively from it. The children from such homes will grow up to be well behaved men and women in the society. By Eguriase S. M. Okaka All articles in this website are subject to review; you can follow us or leave your comment in the comment situation of this blog.